So, time for another post-concert blog….
Last night I went to the TobyMac Hits Deep concert. I’ve been following TobyMac since his days as one of the Three (DCTalk). If you want the full truth, I’ve always been a little obsessed with him. I’ve been to three of his concerts throughout the years, and he is my top favorite artist (if you can’t tell yet…😉)
So, last night at his concert, something…. Miraculous happened. I touched TobyMac’s hand. Not just touched, but squeezed. You know how people hold hands during a prayer, and at the end you all squeeze each others hands? I’m a huge hand-squeezer. To me, that’s a sign of love: like “hey, Jesus loves you and so do I!” kind of thing.
Anyways, I squeeze people’s hands. And Toby squeezed my hand. And in that moment, it was completely beautiful. While he was singing “City On Our Knees”, he squeezed my hand and made eye contact with me and I just felt him saying “Don’t worry. God loves You.” And at first, after that moment was over, I felt like coolest person around me. I was the only one who got to hold Toby’s hand. I was a star. However, after that feeling went away, another one arose.
“Steeli, he’s not God. Toby’s not perfect. He’s a person just like you. Who cares that you touched his hand?”
And suddenly: I felt guilty that I had held Toby’s hand. I felt so selfish. And sinful. I’d idolized Toby. But, he’s human. He’s just like me. He’s a guy who holds God as close to his heart as he can. And- just like me- Toby struggles with that daily. Just as every Christian does.
So, I had another realization.
Toby isn’t perfect.
But God is.
And if the only perfect thing is God, why do I try so hard to appear to be the ‘perfect Christian’?
I’ve been praying all week for Toby’s concert to open my heart and be a way for me to grow more in Christ. And He delivered.
I never would have guessed that He would have delivered through Toby’s hand. But God did.
TobyMac’s hands was flesh. Just like mine.
It was humbling. And not at all what I expected.
So, it’s time to grow up in this journey. The only thing that’s perfect is Jesus Christ. I won’t ever be perfect. And it’s deceiving to display myself as such. And Toby isn’t perfect either. Which makes imperfectness feel a little easier. And less lonely. ❤️
